MOOCH THE SPIDER MONKEY

mooch is my son. he has many fathers. he was created in a lab by combining the dna of me, his fathers, an angel, and a dog with rabies. the only thing he enjoys is not being bored and dubstep music. he loves being tortured because it keeps him in a state of entertainment. he has endless energy and all the diseases. he is in a permanently stinky state, in fact, when i wash him, he just seems to get dirtier. he has two adopted siblings, a younger brother named bongo and a baby sister named bacia. he only knows how to count to four. he cannot remember the faces of other people, including his own mother. due to his angelic dna, he is immortal. when he "dies" (which is often), he comes back fifteen minutes later. he regularly defies the laws of physics to torment his younger brother.